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machete_kills_ver13MACHETE KILLS
Written by Kyle Ward
Directed by Robert Rodriguez

Starring Danny Trejo, Amber Heard, Demian Bichir and Mel Gibson

Any real genre fan would tell you that certain movies need to be seen within a certain context to really be appreciated (or enjoyed at all), often transforming the movie into a whole new experience. For example, anyone who has attended a late night viewing of Tommy Wiseau’s THE ROOM, would have had a completely and utterly different experience than someone who watched it at home, alone, which would just be weird.

There are just some movies that need to be viewed late at night, with a like-minded audience who will laugh, shout and cheer at all the right moments, to be properly enjoyed.

Director Robert Rodriguez knows this quite well. Between PLANET TERROR, his half of the “Grindhouse” double feature, and the first MACHETE film, Rodriguez proves that he knows that camp is best served within the proper context. So, if you’re going to see Rodriguez’s new film, MACHETE KILLS, make sure you’re seeing it with the right crowd, or make sure to be at least pretty drunk. It is campy, sci-fi action to the max, geared toward an audience with an appreciation for STAR WARS references and machine gun bras. Also, it has Lady Gaga.


Picking up after the events of the first MACHETE film, the United State’s favorite boarder control agent, Machete (Danny Trejo), has been tasked by the President (Carlos Estevez, otherwise known as Charlie Sheen) to cross the US-Mexican border to take down ex-cartel leader, Mendez, The Madman (ridiculously well played by Demian Bichir). But a simple mission turns complicated when Machete discovers that Mendez’s heart is attached to a trigger that will detonate a bomb targeted towards Washington D.C. if it stops beating. With everyone in Mexico wanting Mendez dead, Machete must somehow bring Mendez back to the States safely in order to disarm the bomb, without ruining his own reputation at the same time.

The third film fully realized from the fake trailers of the “Grindhouse” movies (HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, MACHETE) is exactly the type of film we have come to expect from the series, which at this point has quite honestly lost its charms. The faux vintage feel of late night movies has been done so many times over the past five years that it might just be time for this genre to be put to rest. These hyper-violent, overly sexualized films are essentially just an exercise in one-upmanship. MACHETE KILLS is more or less a series of tasteless gags designed to illicit a particular response from the audience. But exactly what kind of response is one supposed to have when one sees a man in a wheelchair explode after being propelled into a shooting range anyway?


Maybe MACHETE KILLS was just too self-referential; or maybe there were just too many STAR WARS references for my taste (sorry I don’t speak “fanboy” so I don’t know what those floaty cars or flashlight weapons are called); maybe it was the excess amount of obviously digital blood and gore; or maybe it was seeing Sofia Vergara whip out a crotch revolver meant to resemble the male anatomy that did me in. Then again, maybe I just didn’t see the film in the right context. If you can somehow manage to see MACHETE KILLS at a late night screening, you should. It would be even better if this theatre also serves cheap booze. In the sober light of day though, it just felt exactly like a recycled version of the first movie for me. Meanwhile. the fake trailer for the MACHETE KILLS sequel looks great though.


Your turn!

How many sheep would you give Machete Kills


One Comment

  1. yeah…..i will pass on this one

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